My Glimpse at What Heaven Must Be Like

I had an absolutely wonderful Sunday morning. A friend-of-a-friend had recommended a church in town so I got up at a normal time for a Sunday morning and took a 100 Yuan taxis ride down to the Beijing Christian International Fellowship to attend church. This is a church which serves Beijing’s international community and it meets in the auditorium at the 21st Century Hotel. Church services are only open to foreign passport holders, however.

I struck up a conversation with the lady next to me. She made a comment that “this is what heaven will be like.” I immediately found myself in total agreement with her. Here were many people with many skin colors, many foreign accents, many native tougnes (though this was an English language service), and they all forgot their differences to come and worship.

Then the beautiful singing started. I looked around the auditorium again and as I listened I was reminded of Don Piper’s description of the music in heaven in his moving book 90 Minutes in Heaven . There were no clashing sounds. Each sound blended together in joyous praise despite all the differences in the singers. Students. kids, teenagers, Moms, construction workers, factory owners, secretaries, bankers, and goverment officials were all united in praise.

I felt like I’d been given a precious gift. A glimpse into what heaven must be like.

Copyright © 2007 by Philip Hartman - All Rights Reserved

I Made it to China

I left for China from Nashville yesterday and blew to Detroit and then to Tokyo and then to Beijin. Below is a shot of the Loong Palace Hotel where I'm staying. Its nice to have a client that picks such nice hotels!

Copyright © 2006 by Philip Hartman - All Rights Reserved

Confessions of an Amateur Believer

Have you ever wondered if being a Christian meant you had to stop using your God-given brain and blindly follow something you didn’t understand without questioning? Have you come to consider thoughtful self examination of your beliefs something to be avoided? Think it is something you shouldn’t want to do? Is it somehow a sin to have doubts about matters of faith? Have I got a book recommendation for you! Check out Confessions of an Amateur Believer by Patty Kirk and see that you're not alone.

Patty Kirk gives us some revealing insight into her life from which we can all benefit. She grew up in the faith and had that beautiful child-like complete trust that there is indeed a God and that God is good. Then because of family problems and some traumatic experiences she came to leave the faith and doubt the existence of God. After years of persuing more and more education and life overseas, she came home and found her faith again. Even those of us who never left the faith of our childhood can still glean insight into the bumps in the road which may have driven our friends, family, or co-workers away from belief in God.

The book is basically a collection of essays about her doubts and how that God dealt with her doubts through the people around her and her experiences in life. Most of the time, a Bible verse (maybe even one she’d read many times before) struck a nerve. The Holy Spirit spoke to her and and put a bright spotlight on a particular passage and related it to some event or worry or hurt.

In one chapter entitled “On Barns” she tells of how the she and her husband have six barns on their farm in Oklahoma but they don’t really farm much any more. When beef prices fell in the 90’s he became a CPA and she became an English teacher. They were “barn rich and money poor.” While reading the parable in Luke 12 about the prosperous farmer who contemplates tearing down his barns to build bigger ones so he can store up enough to stop working and life the easy life, she took hard the fact that God chose that time to say “You fool! This very night you will die!” He hadn’t actually torn a barn down yet. He was making plans for his own future to be self sufficient without needing God anymore.

“I got to thinking about the fact that this rich guy hadn’t even carried out his plans yet when God told him he was about to die that very night. He was just thinking about it. And it occurred to me, suddenly, that this parable was not about storing wealth but about making plans and to-do lists, about living in the future tense instead of now.....

My barns, I got to thinking, are unpublished books, further academic degrees, things to write in future resumes or please for salary increases, courses yet to come, a clean house, a pretty yard, a place to rest. And my sin is not these things, many of which I already enjoy, but thinking about them, my secret yearning

for more job security and professional acclaim and some sort of future leisure in which to garden, read novels, and throw big dinner parties.

I have thought the rich guy’s thoughts....I work long hours, pour my energy and enthusiasm into my students and writing, and then snap at my husband and children when I get home and dream about a future in which this isn’t so.

Today I wish to consider the barns I am tearing down; my marriage, my two children, my faith in God to take care of my wants and desires. Jesus began his parable with a strange statement. He says: “The ground of certain rich man produced a good crop.” The story is about the certain rich man, his schemes and impending death, but the subject of the opening sentence is not the man but the ground – the land, the earth, the very dirt of which the man himself was made.....

Planning to build bigger barns is cherishing the future of our own creation rather than the good barns full of what we’ve already been given.”

She has this to say about the story in which Jesus is asleep in the back of the boat when a horrible storm comes up and the Disciples are terrified. They wake Jesus up as if to say “Why are you doing nothing to help us? We’re all going to drown!”

“Where is your faith?” He asked them, and suddenly I realized that shrieking to Jesus to help me and having faith that He would help take care of me were not the same thing. Faith, that elusive gift that I could not earn, did nevertheless require doing something, something very specific. I had to calm myself with the certainty that I was loved and would be taken care of. ‘Like a weaned child with its mother,’ I had to calm myself enough to let my Master sleep.

“Calm down,” I used to tell my little daughters when they were unreasonably upset or over tired. I reminded them that I was in charge but that I knew they had the power to calm themselves. I made them sit in my lap and take deep breaths. I stroked their hair. After a while, their tight little rebellious bodies would soften and lean into me.

Think of it! Jesus slept in that little boat while the dangerous storm raged. Giving my problems to Jesus is to let him sleep – and to sleep myself.

The Psalmist knew this: it is in vain that we ‘rise early and stay up late,’ he tells us in Psalms 127, “toiling for food to eat” – for the Lord “grants sleep to those he loves.”

There is a similarly wonderful chapter on that perpetual brunt of all kinds of jokes – the mother-in-law. Only this hits hard deep inside because it is based on scripture. Patty Kirk describes how she felt a sense of resentment against her mother-in-law despite all the free baby sitting, meals, and cars she let them buy from her at below market prices. She resented her because she wanted a more independent life for her and her husband and her mother-in-law’s constant “help” was a constant reminder of how interconnected they were.

“Eating a Mamaw’s meant surrendering one of my most precious retreats from the difficulties of life, my escape and solitude, my self-made and hard won identity as the provider of food for my family.”

Then she read the story of Naomi and Ruth with fresh eyes. Ruth’s words to Naomi:

Wherever you go, I shall go.
Wherever you live, I shall live.
Your people will be my people,
and your God will be my God, too.

Today regarding her mother-in-law:

“Hers is the fiber from which whole cloth is made, an inspiration for any would-be Ruth or striving Christian, a model of selfless love of herself, others, and life itself. As I get older and more sure of the choices Ihave made, for better or worse, I begin to see how one might come to cling to such a pillar in time of need. I already cling to her, in fact. More and more, when time is short and stressful, I seek her ease, her meals, her love for my children and attention to their demands.”

In the interest of full disclosure, I should point out that I received a free review copy of this book in the hopes that I would say something nice about the book. My first reaction was selfish I admit. I was glad that a real book marketing professional thought my humble blog would make good publicity for the book and that some of you might take my recommendation and pick up your own copy.

In hindsight, I must say that I was the one blessed in this process and I’m sure glad that I was given this opportunity because I’m not one to go to bookstores and pickup books from authors I’d never heard of before. But I have my own aspirations of writing a Christian book some day and I hope I can write something that will touch your soul down deep inside like this one touched me – and I exercised my God-given brain, too! I encourage you to go pick up your own copy of Confessions of an Amateur Believer by Patty Kirk.

Leaving the Comfort Zone to Experience God's Provision

Back in October I had a post Could This Be God's Provision? in which I described a quandary related to how I support my family. I was good at my work as a consultant designing software. Unlike most of my consultant co-workers, I actually had a local client and did not have to travel on business very much.

Then it happened. My boss' boss told me she wanted me to sell more consulting services vs. actually be the one to do the work. This began a couple of months of introspection about my career and God's provision. I was comfortable where I was and what I was doing. But was I too comfortable? In the last few years I have been trying to be alert to the leading of the Holy Spirit and I really wondered "Was I supposed to say 'yes' to this career change? Was there a reason this opportunity presented itself? Was this an accident? Is this a door of opportunity that has opened for a short time and I'm supposed to walk thru the door... without having to know the final outcome?"

In the previous post I told of several friends from church who found themselves no longer being able to remain employees and actually had to take a financial risk and make a leap of faith to buy out the boss and become business owners. I had every reason to believe they became closer to God and God's will in the process. I began comparing my situation to theirs and wondering if this was my time in life that God wanted me to get out of my comfort zone and take a leap of faith and trust in His provision.

Well... guess what happened?

Since October I talked to many different people. I made a point to talk to some self employed Christian men who had taken some risk in their work lives. I talked to trusted co-workers. I would say about 90% of the advise I got was to "go for it" (the change to marketing that is). I prayed for wisdom and discernment. I asked God to help me honor Him in whatever I was supposed to do as His provision for my family.

I work in a very matrixed organization so I have a lot of different managers and told them all I thought I wanted to make a switch to do more selling even if that meant I had to leave my comfortable, no-travel technical position. All were supportive. I had only one final phone call with the "big boss" who started the whole process by telling me to worry more about selling and less about delivery (doing it myself). I scheduled the call about two weeks in advance where I expected to give her my "Yes I'd like to do this. I'd like to change my job title. I'm willing to take on a sales quota."

Two days before my call, everything changed. I found out the very same boss who had told me to sell more only two months earlier had suggested my name to take a technical leadership role on a project with a major electronics company. I must admit my first reaction was that this was a very bad sign. She must have reconsidered and decided I couldn't sell.

Then I started to get more information. She didn't suggest my name to keep me from changing to a marketing post. She suggested my name to take a leadership position at one of her most important accounts. It turns out this client was not just any client but a client doing a huge amount of business with my employer. I wouldn't just be consulting. I would be working directly for an influential technology executive at this firm. I wouldn't just be working a couple of hours away from home. There was a very real possibility of a trip to China and Toronto, Canada. This "delivery" position had a huge amount of impact and visibility.

So now you know. I sought counsel from many Christian men I trusted. I prayed for discernment. I prayed for God to show me His will. I didn't switch job titles to go into marketing. I am genuinely excited about my new challenge and the many different people I will meet from many different cultures. I now look at the whole exercise about going into marketing to have been more about "am I willing to leave what is comfortable if that is what God wants me to do?" And.. I now leave Sunday morning for China. Ain't God good!

Copyright © 2007 by Philip Hartman - All Rights Reserved

Words of Encouragement

God placed a new person in my path recently to encourage me and bless me. A good Sunday School friend of mine invited a young pastor named Brian (the pastor of another church nearby) I had never met to say a few words at my Sunday School class party. From my Sunday School friend I learned that this young man once had a promising career in business but walked away from it all when he felt God's call into the ministry.

When Brian got up to speak, he read some of his own inspirational Christian writing. My antenna started twitching because I realized "here is another person right here in my neighbor hood who takes his Christian writing seriously!" After Brian spoke, I was able to find out that he was once a management consultant in the healthcare industry. Now I am a consultant myself as well (I help corporations design their business software and websites) so we even had that in common.

I also learned that Brian had been writing the really wonderful Christian poetry and weekly email newsletters to his congregation and friends and had been doing this for a while. He told me he probably had 140 or more Microsoft Word documents of his own inspirational writing that he had been distributing by email. I told him he should start posting some of his writing in a blog for the whole world to see (and find via Google and other search engines)!

I encourage all my readers to visit Brian Johnson's new Blog Words of Encouragement. I just read his most recent post "$2 worth of gas" in which he tells a story of rushing off to do ministry at a prison without any cash or his debit card and desperately running out of gas. He stopped at the first gas station he came to after his visit to the prison and found they did not take checks. When he tried to buy $1.14 worth of gas he scrounged out of his ashtray, the lady behind the cash register offerred to let him have $5 if he'd pay her back. His pride kept him from accepting her generosity (she had no way to know if she'd ever see him again) but later he began to wonder if he should have accepted her offer. Had he selfishly stolen her opportunity to do a good deed? Was refusing her gift like refusing God's grace in some way. Its a great story. You won't be disappointed.

Copyright © 2006 by Philip Hartman - All Rights Reserved

Churches for the Weak and Needy

"Occasionally I am asked by young men seeking a church to pastor if I know of a church without any problems. My response to them is, 'If I did, I wouldn't tell you; you'd go there and spoil it.' The point is that there are no perfect churches. Churches struggle because all are made up of imperfect sinning people. The church is not a place for people with no weaknesses; it is a fellowship of those who are aware of their weaknesses and long for the strength and grace of God to fill their lives. It is a kind of hospital for those who know they are sick and needy."

John MacArthur, Revelation: The Christians Ultimate Victory Bible Study

My Career as a Financier to the Developing World

If you happened to read my previous post Make a Loan and Change a Life you learned that I made a small loan to an entrepreneur in Ecuador that sold Bibles and other retail items. I am happy to report that Ariola has made her first payment of $42 out of $250 or 16.8%. Since I was one of ten different lenders lending $25, my portion of her repayment was $4.20. Here's more about Ariola and her business.

Location: Guayaquil, Ecuador

Activity: Retail

Loan Amount: $250.00

Loan Use: Buy bibles, clothing and other miscellaneous products to sell

Loan Repayment Term Range: 6-10 months

Start Date: Nov 25, 2006

Amount Repaid: $42

Partner Rep: Luis Crespo, Esther Vasquez

Partner: MIFEX

Ariola is a saleswoman in her neighborhood. Primarily she sells bibles to the people from her church and her community. She started off with $50 of investment capital and has slowly expanded her businesses. She also sells clothing and other products targeted towards women. In order to make her products affordable to her clients she takes half of the payment at the time of purchase and charges the rest on a weekly or bi-weekly rate. She is eager to receive a loan in order to buy more products for her clients like more bibles, CDs and clothing. She hopes that she can receive the loan before the busy Christmas season begins. This business is a complementary source of income in her household of 6 children. Her husband works as a bricklayer but he does not make enough money to provide for his family on his own.

Go visit Kiva.org if you want to help a developing world entrepreneur.

Copyright © 2006 by Philip Hartman - All Rights Reserved

I Closed My Business. Was I Correct in Discerning God's Will?

In the spring and early summer of 2005, I began wondering if God was asking me to take my interest in spiritual journaling and writing about my faith to a higher level. At the time, I was also very concerned about the impact of globalization on my career designing business software. I began to wonder if God was leading me to start a business "on the side" to both develop my spiritual gift of writing and provide for the financial needs of my family.

In July of 2005, I believed God wanted me to do it. I felt even if my business venture was not a financial success there must be something God wants me to learn from the process. My plan was to provide some inspirational material "for free" but also offer some Christian material available for sale as eBooks for a very nominal fee (eg. $2.95) and take payments using PayPal. I wasn't expecting to make a lot of money but I wasn't risking a lot of money either. I decided I'd rather try and fail than not try and wonder for the rest of my life whether I had missed out on serving God's purpose or missed out on some blessing He had in store for me.

I took a long lunch from work one day and drove down to the county clerk's office and for $20 took out a business license for Caleb's Publishing. The name is a reference to the Old Testament character Caleb who was one of the twelve spies Moses dispatch to scope out the promised land.
Here's what I wrote back then. (Click here for the original.)

About Caleb's Publishing™

Caleb's Publishing™ was founded by Philip Hartman in July 2005 as a "leap of faith." Like many men in their mid-40's I had achieved some success in my profession but began wondering if God had something else in mind. This then became a frequent topic in my prayer life for approximately 1.5 years. Along the way, I was introduced to the idea of combining a business with a personal ministry. I also began regularly keeping a spiritual journal and discovered I really enjoyed writing about matters of faith. What you see is the result of this spiritual journey so far. I don't know where this journey is going to take me, but that is part of the fun!

Incidentally, I highly recommend the book Halftime by Bob Buford to any man who is feeling the same way. Also, visit the halftime.org website.

I hope to serve the community by:

• Providing original and thought-provoking material to assist Sunday School teachers, small group discussion leaders, pastors, and anyone seeking a closer relationship with God
• Giving you the benefit of the many hours I have spent in research over the last several years reading various books, articles, and websites. If something was thought-provoking or convicted me, then I suspect it may have the same impact on you.
• Encouraging "regular Christians" who feel God may have chosen to use them for His purposes thru their gift of writing.
• Providing a wider, Internet audience for anyone who has a message or story to tell. I want to publish both unique Christian works and original secular works in fields such as history.

Where did the name of the company and website come from?

I devoted a lot of my spare time in the evenings over the coming months to creating a website, writing, editing some sermon materials I inherited from my father and grandfather, trying to figure out how to show up in search engines like Google, and more. I did learn a lot. I felt good about sharing my faith in this way. I was amazed to find from my website statistics that my little website got visitors from far away places like the UK, Australia, Canada, India, Finland, and more.

However, one thing I was not doing was making money. In hindsight, I have come to understand how much free Christian material is available over the Internet. (Like this blog.)

Without any real fanfare, I officially closed Caleb’s Publishing today as a business entity. The ISP still hasn’t shut the site down even though I never renewed the hosting contract.

Now I must wrestle with whether I was correct in how I discerned God’s will 1.5 years ago. Was he leading me to start the business as I thought? Does it even matter if I didn't make money (espcially if I didn't risk much money)? Was it vanity on my part? Was I right about developing my own writing but wrong about the publishing other people’s writing? Was God trying to teach me something that did not depend on whether the business made money? I guess I’ll never know for sure until I’m in heaven some day. For the moment, I'd like to think I did what He wanted. I took a chance for Him. I got out of my comfort zone. People on the other side of the world did read some of what I wrote. I might have had a positive impact.

God, have I learned the lesson about writing and publishing You wanted to teach me thru Caleb’s Publishing? Did I discern Your will correctly? If not, then I pray that You correct my ways and help me discern Your will properly. If I did, then I pray that You reveal to me what You would have me do to serve You next. Amen.

Copyright © 2006 by Philip Hartman - All Rights Reserved

A Prayer for Michael and the Lost Boys of Sudan

I took my daughter's car to the dealer this morning to get it looked at. Then engine wasn't running quite right and it needed an oil change. I didn't have to work today so I just waited on the repairs in the dealer's customer waiting area. At one point it was just me and a young black man waiting on our vehicles. I remember noticing he was wearing a name tag that said "Michael". I was getting a little bored and I made some lame remark about "I hate waiting like this more than almost anything." He smiled and replied back to me in an accent that sounded foreign and I deduced that he might be here from Africa.

I always like talking to people from other countries an inquired with him "Where are you from?" He replied that he was from Sudan and I suspected immediately he was a refugee from the war there in which Muslims from northern Sudan have been attacking the Christians in southern Sudan. On talking to me a little more he described himself as one of the "Lost Boys of Sudan." (See also the Red Cross article on the Lost Boys of Sudan.)

I didn't know what that meant but I learned that when he was about four years old, his parents sent him away to Kenya where they hoped he'd be safe from the fighting in his own country. I think he said his mother was too sick at the time to travel with him. I didn't learn any details about his father other than he had learned later that his father had been killed in the war. He told me he spent 8 years as a refugee in Kenya before coming to the United States. His last contact with his mother was by telephone from Kenya two years ago.

I felt a little uneasy because I knew my life had been so easy compared to his. Whatever problems I have seemed small in comparison to his.

He told me he is now living in the US under a refugee visa which allows him to work here on a green card. He told me after working here five years, he hopes to apply for US citizenship. He's going to school at a local university to become a nurse.

The customer service representative from the car dealer arrived about that time and he had to go pay for his repairs and I never saw him after that.

God, I want to lift up Michael in prayer tonight. I pray for all the refugees of Sudan and especially for the "Lost Boys of Sudan". Bless them and show them Your provision for their needs. I pray that he will reunited with his mother soon or at least be able to contact her to know how she is and where she is. I pray for an end to the bloodshed in Sudan. I pray that we here never forget the bloodshed and suffering in that part of the world that seems so remote to us. I know that somebody's mothers and fathers and children are fighting just to survive while I am so comfortable. Forgive me when I am too complacent about the needs of my brothers and sisters. Amen.

(March 11, 2008) see the followup at Lost Boy of Sudan to Graduate

Copyright © 2006 by Philip Hartman - All Rights Reserved

Will Your Blog Be a Legacy to Future Generations?

We all have trials and tribulations in life. Like most of you I suspect, I have often wondered why God allows the bad things to happen to us. As I have matured in my faith I have tried to replace “God, why did you let this happen to me?” with something more like “God, what are you trying to teach me?” and when I’m feeling particularly strong “God, help me serve Your purposes in this rough time even if I don’t understand what that is right now.”

Back in October I was channel surfing and landed upon the History Channel and a show called 'Skeletons on the Sahara'. (Based on the book of the same name.) The show told the story of James Riley, the captain of the merchant ship Commerce which was ship wrecked off the western coast of Africa in 1815.

“In 1815, a Connecticut merchant ship runs aground off the west coast of Africa. Captured by Arab nomads, Captain James Riley and his crew are sold into brutal slavery and marched across the Sahara Desert, where skin boils, lips blacken and men shrivel to less than 90 pounds. Along the way the Americans will encounter everything that could possibly test them, but Riley and his men will also discover ancient cities, secret oases and a culture largely unknown to the modern world.”

I came into the documentary in the middle of the show but I saw a compelling story of how he and his desperate crew surrendered to Muslim desert dwellers who made them slaves. Captain Riley persuades his new slavemaster that he could make a healthy profit if he would only transport them safely to the nearest major city. There a wealthy American or English businessman or diplomat would buy their freedom back. Depending on your point of view this was either a huge gamble or a leap of faith. He had no way to know if this was really true but he staked his life on it. His master told him if it was not true, the slavemaster would slit his throat. When they arrived at their destination, the slavemaster required him to write a note in his own handwriting that he could give to the wealthy Englishman or American he found in the town. The note was full of prayerful references to God and the compassion of the reader.

The story has a happy ending. The Muslim slavemaster finds an English businessman who does indeed purchase the freedom of the Americans, by now only sunburned skeletons of men. Captain Riley made it home to his family.

I’m sure Captain Riley wondered “Why did God let this happen to me?” and his ordeal was certainly worse than anything that you or I are likely to face. What purpose might the suffering of James Riley and his crewman served? Could God have had a greater purpose that they knew nothing about?

You may have never heard of Captain Riley or his ordeal before, but let me give you the name of one person who did. You see Captain Riley wrote a book about his ordeal that was published in 1817. (Click here to see an historic reproduction.) According to one of the historians interviewed in the television documentary, Abraham Lincoln read the book and listed it as one of the most influential books in his life. The harsh description of how theses white men were treated as slaves in the Sahara is credited by some leading Abraham Lincoln to vigorously oppose the slavery of blacks in America.... and Abraham Lincoln was eventually elected President of the Unites States and served during the American Civil War.

Very few of us who try to honor God when things are not going well will eventually influence future Presidents. But.. you just never know. I offer this story also as encouragement to my fellow writers and bloggers. It is unlikely that Captain Riley would have influenced Abraham Lincoln if he had not taken the time to record his ordeal in his book. I hope and pray that the record of my Christian walk that I leave behind will have some positive effect long after my time on this earth is done. You have a story to tell too.

Copyright © 2006 by Philip Hartman - All Rights Reserved